Lucy Maud Montgomery's Suicide

I had been looking at the work of Lucy Maud Montgomery because I was drawn to her scenes and sense of place on Prince Edward Island (it seems all but one of her books were based on this island, where she lived, and are filled with scenes of the natural beauty around the island in Canada), but I was worried that there wasn't much substance to them. Pretty, sweet little classic stories... but then I started doing some reading about Lucy Maud...

I read that Montgomery had not lived the life she daydreamed about, she was in fact very troubled; she was adopted, her husband had religious melancholia, and she suffered a nervous breakdown. It is also believed that she died of a drug overdose at the age of 68.

Mental illness is a topic that is very close to me. I've been taking medication for generalised anxiety and panic disorder for three years. A close friend of mine, Anna, committed suicide two years ago, another friend has been in and out of psychiatric hospital after attempting suicide. I don't want to make this project really sad and too personal, but I do want to tackle these bigger issues. 

This is a chance to talk about something important and I don't think Montgomery's problems have been discussed, simply brushed  under the carpet. It's so shocking to learn that Montgomery was mentally ill, it's not what you'd expect from the tone of her stories...

Her family kept her suicide a secret. To protect Montgomery's social status? To protect her legacy? To protect her readers? I reckon it's time to talk about it. It's time to address the fact that this woman decided to end her own life.

"I have lost my mind by spells and I do not dare think what I may do in those spells. May God forgive me and I hope everyone else will forgive me even if they cannot understand. My position is too awful to endure and nobody realizes it. What an end to a life in which I tried always to do my best." (a note left on her bedside)

"my life has been hell, hell, hell. My mind is gone -- everything in the world I lived for has gone -- the world has gone mad. I shall be driven to end my life. Oh God, forgive me. Nobody dreams what my awful position is." ~~ from The Gift of Wings

"I am companioned by thoughts of old laughter and joys, shadowy footsteps of dead or absent friends, voices of the vanished years."