There are bad things in the forest.
There are countless dangers in the wild.
There are monsters and beasts,
creatures that will capture and devour you whole.
Nostrils for sniffing out fresh meat.
Sharp, razor claws for scratching, ripping and skinning their prey.
Teeth for sinking into a writhing body.
Stomp, chomp, stomp, chomp.
Tasty human meat.
That's why they call him Smoky Bacon, he's the best butcher in the land!
Diced finely, human can be oh-so-tough in big chunks!
Don't worry, he won't eat you alive,
Don't worry, he won't eat you alive,
he's not an animal.
He'll fry you first.
Season well, marinate for seven hours.
Human goes well with a cheeky white wine sauce,
and a green leaf salad to garnish the dish.
"Roll up, roll up! Special offers today only folks, two for a tenner!
Grab it while it's hot now!"
But lately Smokey's got a taste for fine dining.
Only the best ingredients, prime flavours and gourmet selections.
Kings and Queens. Topped with gold leaf.
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